Originally written, February 20, 2013, by Dionne L. Dansby
I’ve always been told that I think entirely too much. I often find myself obsessing over events to the point that I catch myself grinding my teeth and clenching my jaws in my sleep. I wake up with a horrible headache, and if I’m not careful, I may saw my teeth down until they look like kernels of corn. Anyhow, I have been trying to come up with ways to kick the overheating of my cognitive circuits; thus, the term I coined for myself, Cognitive Malfunction.
I know everyone has problems. Life would not be life without them. I just find myself obsessing about all of mine. It could be anything like trying to figure out how to break the Guinness Book of Wold Records for juggling bills, worrying if I said the wrong thing to a person, to wondering if my latest is digging me like I’m digging him. I find myself creating scenarios in my mind when I don’t hear from him and even thinking of how our next conversation will go. Sometimes I feel like , Brace Face. Does anyone else remember that cartoon where that girl would always imagine something going so great, then her braces zapping something or causing a catastrophic event? I feel like I think so much that I take the joy even out of wonderful times. Instead of basking in them, I tend to think about what to say or do next and usually say or do something completely idiotic, then spend the next few days tossing it around in my brain. Cognitive Malfunction!
Maybe I’m always guarded. I feel like I’ve been let down so many times by not only others, but myself included, that maybe I struggle to keep things good when they are good. Then, when life gives me lemons, I’m trying to make Pink Panties instead of lemonade. How do you just live? How do you just take things how they are and not self-destruct? How do you fly by the seat of your pants; yet, still remain grounded? AHHHH…I need to stop before I cognitively malfunction!