An Aimless Existence



Who really has it right in regards to life and direction?  During my 36 years on this Earth, I have observed many people in regards to life and life’s directions.  Personally, I have always at least made decent attempts to live life like one would describe as a traditional American dream; although, I have had my hiccups, bumps in the roads, and detours over the years.  I did the whole marriage and having children thing backwards, and I didn’t pay attention to my credit until it was below sea level.  I did, however, do the whole school thing in “order”.  I graduated from high school with about a 95 average, went straight to college and graduated with my B.S. in Psychology, and went into the work field fresh out of college at 22.  I obtained my Master’s degree 7 years later, and I have pursued other educational opportunities as well to advance my career.  I think I kind of did that by the book; yet, I have struggled reach my  full felicity.

I bring this up because I have witnessed and experienced various paths by different people in my life, whether it be friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family, or fly-by-night people.  Some wonder aimlessly through life and land wherever they land, while some are anal retentive in everything they do and have had a plan and stuck with it no matter what.  At the end of the day, who is happier?  Isn’t that what we are all trying to achieve in life other than success?  And what exactly is success?  To the aimless person, it may be experiencing as many euphoric rushes as possible, and to the anal retentive, it may be to “do everything by the book.”  I often wonder, who has it right?  I have for surely struggled trying to find my happy place while trying to do the “right” thing, and I’ve known others who share the, “fuck it” philosophy and seem so freaking happy!

There have been individuals in my life who stress for appearances — they just have to look as if they have it all to everyone else looking in.  They have to look like they have the happy marriage, the perfect family, the ideal job, and the flawless personal life, when in reality, they are suffering and manic depressive.  On the other hand, I’ve known the person who just LIVES.  Do you know what I mean?  They aren’t afraid to fail.  They don’t give a rat’s ass what others think about them.  They take things day-by-day.  They truly land successful and fulfilling careers because they are going with a more natural flow of life.  They are maintaining like everyone else but not stressing about it.  They are embracing life and taking it astride,so to speak, while so many others rarely take a moment to take a strep out of stress field days to just stop and enjoy what is right in front of them.

There are those who wonder aimlessly through life and end up being thorns in society’s side.  I am not referring to them.  I am referring to those who are more colorful; those who are more full of life and are truly successful in regards to progression in every aspect.  I tend to find myself in the middle…living up to the standards of others and not saying, “fuck it,” until I’ve had enough, or not saying it until it’s too late and I’m in a downward spiral.  I ramble and rant all of this to ask you, who do you think has it right, the aimless, the sensible, or the archaic perfectionist?


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